Here are a few things you can do help your child reach their full potential:

• Give your child continual encouragement. Nurture their strengths and abilities.
• Nurture their strengths and abilities.
• Get an early diagnosis (before 6 years of age) if possible
• Ensure your child has special education/support services that understand FASD as early as possible (exceptionality designation, and Individual Education Plan which includes the required supports, accommodations, tools, learning and safety plans, etc.)
• Learn as much as you can about FASD, how to parent and provide support to improve outcomes for your child
• Provide a loving, nurturing and stable home environment
• Create an environment free of violence; teach your child how to express anger and frustration in other ways
• Make sure you let your child know you love them just as they are, and that you will be there for them if they need it (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2018)

The best time to tell a child they have FASD will be different for each child. A good time could be when your child starts asking questions about why things are different for them. You could also tell them when they notice they are different than other children. Begin explaining to them that their brain is different as soon as you see your child questioning their challenges. The goal is to avoid that they develop a negative self-image. Talk to your child as long as they are interested, and weave it in the conversation among less threatening topics.

Things to keep in mind when discussing FASD with your child:

• Keep the conversation light and simple. Remember your child’s developmental age can differ from their chronological age
• Use language that is easy for your child to understand
• Explain that FASD is caused by prenatal exposure to alcohol
• Explain that their brain works a bit differently. Highlight that your child has many strengths too and that FASD is just one part of them. Use storybooks, pictures, and other visuals to help you explain FASD
• You may need to repeat the discussion many time and give more information as your child gets older
• Explain FASD to your child’s siblings and possibly their friends. Explaining FASD to other children can help them accept your child and understand why they sometimes act differently
• Reinforce that FASD is not their fault
• Discuss how having other people who can guide them and care about them can help people living with FASD have a better life and make better decisions. This may help them listen to caregivers as they get older (FASD Waterloo Region, 2013)

If you are an adoptive or foster parent:

• Reinforce that your child’s biological parent did not know they were pregnant, were unaware of the risks or were not well at the time. Avoid shame and blame so your child does not think their birthing parent intentionally harmed them

If you are the birthing parent:

• Remember that you didn’t intend to harm your child. Depending on your situation, explain “I did not know I was pregnant” or “I didn’t know about the risks of alcohol during pregnancy” or “I was not well at the time”. Tell your child you love them and will never intentionally hurt them

FASD is beginning to be more recognized and accommodated in schools. However, this recognition is new, and some schools may be more aware than others about FASD. When working with the school, present yourself as a resource who will make things better for the child and easier for the teacher. Encourage the school to consult with you in the planning process to put accommodations in place, and thus prevent further difficulties. (FASD Waterloo Region, 2013)

• Introduce yourself to the school, administrative team, and any new teachers before your child begins school or a new school year
• Ask for a transition planning meeting to discuss your child’s unique strengths and challenges and what has worked to accommodate them in the past and what supports may be accessed at the school
• Help teachers to understand that the goal with your child is interdependence (independence may not be a reasonable goal for your child) and to carefully monitor the level of support they need
• Ensure your child has an Individual Education Plan (IEP) which documents the required individual supports, accommodations, modifications, learning methods, and education goals. Review the IEP regularly and work collaboratively with the school team when changes to the IEP are necessary. Your child does not need a diagnosis or Individual Placement Review Committee (IPRC) to have an IEP.
• Ensure your child with an FASD diagnosis has an IPRC meeting; if not, ask for one. This process determines “exceptionality” and “placement” with the Ministry of Education.
• When your child begins a new year or starts at a new school ensure you have a transition plan
• Make yourself familiar with all the education supports in your geographic area to determine what might assist your child to have success at school (FASD ONE, 2014).

Children with FASD can repeat things well but they often have difficulty understanding what is being said and expressing how they are feeling. Challenging behaviour can manifest when your child attempts to tell you that something is wrong, but they do not have the ability to express themselves at that point in time.

Suggestions to help:

• Identify how your child is feeling by providing simple labels for your child’s feelings
• Create a picture chart using photos of your child’s face with labels to help them identify their feelings and emotions
• Use a safe place: give your child a place to calm down, express anger or frustration where they are not penalized for acting out
• Find out what is behind the behaviour. Wait patiently for your child to calm down before talking about it
• Match your communication level to your child’s. If your child uses two-word phrases, use no more than two or three-word phrases when talking to them
• Use visual cues. Speak softly and slowly, with short sentences. Pause 20 seconds between sentences to allow your child time to understand what is being said
• Use repetition and be consistent. Use the same words for the same instruction every time it is given: this helps to place the instruction into your child’s long-term memory
• Use simple rules and be specific. Do not use abstract words. Children with FASD have difficulty with abstract concepts
• Redirect your child rather than punishment or discipline
• Reward good behaviour immediately
• Focus on your child’s strengths
• Change the environment, not your child. Change the environment so challenging behaviour is less likely to occur. Remember your child has a disability and they are not acting out on purpose to upset you (FASD Waterloo Region, 2013)

Prevention is extremely important:

• Talk to your child early about safety, ownership, right and wrong. Repeat these conversations often
• Minimize negative influences: get to know your child’s friends and their parents.
• Help your child find good mentors, role models and friends that do not use drugs or alcohol or engage in risky behaviour
• Supervise interactions when you can.
• Advocate on behalf of your child: you know your child best, so do not be afraid to speak up about appropriate charges, sentencing, and restorative justice
• Have your child carry an ID information card informing people that they have FASD and they may admit or say things that are not correct (FASD Waterloo Region, 2013)

People with FASD are over-represented and vulnerable in both youth and adult justice settings. According to the John Howard Society of Ontario (2010), youth with FASD are 19 times more likely to be jailed than youth without FASD and 60% of people with FASD over 12 years old have been charged with, or convicted of, a crime.

Depending on where they are on the spectrum, some people with FASD may lack impulse control, have poor judgment, and poor memory. They may need help to stay safe and avoid getting into trouble. Their difficulties may cause them to engage in risky activities, be easily convinced to do things that are illegal, take the blame for others, and/or be the victim of criminal acts. Your child may need you to act as their support person to help them make good decisions and understand consequences of their actions.

If your child is involved with the police and the law for criminal behaviour, try to stay calm and seek support and guidance. If there is a local FASD support group in your area, ask for support and information from them. In most cases, the child will not understand what happened or why they are in trouble. Remaining calm and supportive will be extremely helpful to your child.

It may be helpful to create a booklet about FASD specific to your child’s unique needs to use with police, lawyers, judges, and correctional staff. This is critical to ensure appropriate treatment at all levels. You may also be able to request alternative measures to be used instead of legal charges, such as: supervised restitution, letters of apology to those harmed and stolen items being returned.